Assisted Reproduction: how to protect the couple’s relationship?
There is no reason to hide things from him or keep silent to protect him: your partner is your greatest ally and your main support
The relationship between the couple suffers during treatment. Difficulties in conceiving a child can lead to tensions and even conflict for the couple, who have to cope with anguish, waiting and stress on a daily basis. There is no room for spontaneity and joy. Sometimes, the couple ends up separating or divorcing. How can this be avoided?
To start with, really communicate with your partner. Express this unspeakable pain! Explain how you feel, what you want, what you need in order to keep going or during the difficult phase pending the result. You’re a team and you share the same goal, so keep it that way! There’s no reason to hide things from him or keep silent to protect him. Your partner is your greatest ally and your main support! And at the same time, don’t just talk about IVF or the treatment you’re undergoing; try not to focus everything on assisted reproduction.
In the same way, go on with your normal life. Keep going out, dine out, go dancing, laugh, go away for the weekend, do sport, go for a stroll, share emotions and adventures as a couple. All this will make you closer and strengthen the ties that you forged before you started out on this entire journey. Take time for yourselves as a couple and look after yourselves!
The third tip is to continue being lovers … In spite of the treatments and the intrusion caused by all the medical aspects. During the treatments, the libido tends to become more volatile. More than one couple will feel put off by having intimacy because of the fact that they failed to realize their dream of creating a family. Women often feel hurt and feel that their body no longer belongs to them. Even so, it is important to talk about it with your partner and explain the decrease or disappearance of desire, since he may feel bad and rejected. Make a couple plan, a candlelit dinner, watch a movie snuggling up to each other. Gradually, spontaneity and romance will spring up again … Because your love is still there, still intact!
Don’t hesitate about going to see a psychologist. It is important that you are assisted as a couple, especially if the treatments multiply and the relationship falters. A pause in treatment could be considered in order to refocus on your love life.
Caring for the relationship is paramount. First of all, because having been through this experience together will make it softer and less bitter, as well as for the unborn child, who deserves to find a united and loving couple, and a happy and harmonious home in which to grow up…
After finishing her studies, Frédérique Vincent packs her bags and goes to England. While there, she meets her future husband. They marry in 2008. The months and years go by very quickly without any sign of pregnancy. At first, it doesn’t matter: they are very busy with their leisure time, sports, travel. Then the desire to have a child becomes an obsession. When fertility treatment begins, she decides to start writing her diary of an infertile woman. Very quickly, her circle encourages her to continue giving her testimony … She is currently a mother of three and author of La Promesse du mois, a book which serves as a testimony to infertility.