Being a single mother by choice, a happy and well-considered decision

Being a single mother by choice, a happy and well-considered decision

Published: 8 May 2018|Last updated: 10 June 2019|Emotional aspects.|

Being a single mother by choice, a happy and well-considered decision

All these women have a stable job, self-confidence, are responsible, and don’t want to give up motherhood even though they don’t live with a stable partner

A few years ago, single mothers who walked through the door of an assisted reproduction clinic to have a baby were mostly women aged 40 or older, aware of the fact that time is not unlimited and that they want to be mothers before it is too late Today, younger women also come to the clinic on their own with a very clear, thought out and well-considered baby project, and a completely assumed decision. They decide to have a baby on their own and by their own choice, and they downplay the existence of a loving relationship to get pregnant. All these women have a stable job, are responsible, have self-confidence and, above all, do not want to give up motherhood even though they don’t live with a stable partner. Many questions are raised, they hesitate and may even feel guilty about this wish, but in the end it is a vital instinct that pushes them, a priority, to become mothers rather than wives. They have the support of their families, their friends and a good social network.

Not having a partner, these women go to an assisted reproduction clinic, where an adapted treatment may be recommended to them: artificial insemination by donor (AID) with or without ovarian stimulation, IVF or double donation … The number of single mothers by choice is constantly increasing, and this increase seems to be irreversible. Acceptance by their social network and society at large of this new family model has improved. Prejudices are breaking down little by little and single mothers are no longer labelled as irresponsible or marginal.

One of the questions that can legitimately be posed is to know what will happen to the affective and emotional balance of this baby, who will grow up without a father. Various studies have shown that they are not different from the others. They are happy; they feel at ease with themselves and have excellent self-esteem. In fact, there is no ideal family, and all parental models are possible. The important thing is that the baby grows up in a loving home, in healthy and balanced surroundings and that he or she is loved and given affection.

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