After days, weeks, months and even years imagining, dreaming and waiting, the longed-for pregnancy test day arrives, and the result is not as expected. You're not pregnant. The disappointment is as strong as the hope that you had placed in the treatment. You feel empty, terribly empty and lost on this long journey that has now turned into a struggle.
Assisted reproduction undoubtedly changes the personality of women who resort to it. The couple also changes and motherhood will be marked by the fact that the parents struggled to bring it about, to have a family and obtain their little bundle of joy. And this struggle has positive points, even if it is hard to accept when we are midway through treatment.
Christmas and New Year represent a rather delicate period for couples who are struggling to get pregnant. What is the family celebration par excellence can become a real torture when the only gift you want is a child. After a whole year of waiting and crying because the only thing you want is to get pregnant ... How are we going to be cheerful and happy with family during the Christmas dinner?
I began to appreciate everything I already had in my life: a lovely husband, an interesting job, friends, health ... Instead of crying for what I didn't have
When I first heard about test-tube babies, I was 18 and read an article about Amandine, the first test-tube baby born in France in 1982, "that baby from somewhere else." The reactions that this "quick fix" (as it was called at that time) aroused were numerous. Some years later, when I was thinking about becoming a mum and they told me about in vitro fertilisation, I felt something that still hurts today.
One of the keys to success during fertility treatment is to manage to cope with stress itself, to relax and have a positive attitude. It is often said that the calmer women are during treatment, the higher the success rate they achieve.
The relationship between the couple suffers during treatment. Difficulties in conceiving a child can lead to tensions and even conflict for the couple, who have to cope with anguish, waiting and stress on a daily basis. There is no room for spontaneity and joy. Sometimes, the couple ends up separating or divorcing. How can this be avoided?
From now on, we'll not talk about our treatments any more. To those who ask me how it's going, I tell them that we are letting nature take its course. It's difficult for me because I need to talk about what happens to me, to articulate the difficulties I come across. Words release me and also relieve me.
- Good morning, I’m calling from the fertility centre…
-Ah, yes! - I say, feigning nonchalance – they took their time calling, there must have been a lot to inventory – I add, bursting into laughter. I often resort to humour to lighten up…
I have a friend, a friend I love, who is suffering. She has told me so. On several occasions, she has cried inconsolably on my shoulder. And yet, this friend has a lovely husband, a job she likes, a wonderful seven-year-old son who fills her with joy ...