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How to deal with the announcement of a pregnancy in your circle?

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Be positive, trust in yourselves and in the treatment, focus on purpose and success and overcome the obstacles

El anuncio de un embarazo en tu entorno, ¿cómo gestionarlo?

When a woman or a couple undergo assisted reproduction treatment, the announcement of a pregnancy from someone in your circle is a difficult test to go through and a highly sensitive subject to listen to, especially if you have suffered several failures and you have the impression that you will never get pregnant. Everything becomes rather delicate. In the day to day you struggle not to be discouraged and to have moments of happiness. However, the announcement of the pregnancy reminds us that our womb is empty and that is when the tears appear, you have knots in your stomach, a feeling of injustice, uncontrollable emotions…

It’s completely normal when you are undergoing treatment that mothers, mothers-to-be, pregnant women and newborns are the people you least feel like interacting with. Don’t blame yourself! You aren’t selfish or inhuman! You are simply going through one of the most difficult tests of your lives and you aren’t going to jump for joy when a couple or woman announces this news to you while you are living through your own private nightmare. It isn’t strange that you find this situation unfair and that you feel sadness and jealousy. This couple, or woman, is living that dream that you both desire so much. That’s what you are seeking by means of treatments that are tough both physically and mentally. In this situation jealousy is a common feeling. Don’t blame yourself for crying and letting go of your concerns. Your emotions are bubbling just under the surface, you are very sensitive and there are issues that can’t be dealt with serenely at this time.

Here are some tips to make the announcement of a pregnancy of someone close less harmful:

First of all, you should regard yourself as a mother-to-be every day and not as a childless woman. Try to be positive despite your attempts and failures, trust in yourself and focus on one goal: becoming a mother. Focus on your own successes, the obstacles you have overcome since the start of this journey more than on the present moment and this destabilising announcement. You aren’t incapable; it’s just that the stork is having difficulty finding your address…

Don’t compare yourselves to others. In the end, it isn’t their fault and even if the whole world stopped having children to relieve you, this wouldn’t solve the problem either.

Finally, remember that the professionals and medical team that accompany you have previously dealt with plenty of cases of infertility. In your case, the announcement has simply been delayed and soon it will be your turn to proclaim your pregnancy loud and clear and to cry for joy … tears of happiness that are so long-awaited and well deserved…

Frédérique Vincent
After finishing her studies, Frédérique Vincent packs her bags and goes to England. While there, she meets her future husband. They marry in 2008. The months and years go by very quickly without any sign of pregnancy. At first, it doesn’t matter: they are very busy with their leisure time, sports, travel. Then the desire to have a child becomes an obsession. When fertility treatment begins, she decides to start writing her diary of an infertile woman. Very quickly, her circle encourages her to continue giving her testimony … She is currently a mother of three and author of La Promesse du mois, a book which serves as a testimony to infertility.

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