Couples who undergo assisted reproduction treatment need to surround themselves with discreet but attentive and available friends
A sterile couple is a couple that suffers. It is emotionally very fragile and sensitive. Words that in principle seem trivial, or out of place comments, can cause deep wounds and remain in the couple’s memory for a long time. Thus, couples who undergo assisted reproduction treatment need to surround themselves with discreet but at the same time attentive and available friends who don’t ask (too many) questions but are always willing to listen. Friends who know how to identify emotions and see when something isn’t right, friends who understand that sometimes we need to talk about treatment, or cry, and other times we will have neither the strength nor the desire. They are friends who know that our emotions are bubbling just under the surface, that they are uncontrollable and sometimes overwhelm us. They are optimistic people, who do not judge, who choose their words well, who avoid being awkward, who know how to alleviate anguish and create a more relaxed atmosphere. They are people who will always be available and who will listen to you whenever you feel like talking to someone.
In short, the friends of a couple undergoing an assisted reproduction treatment shouldn’t:
- Ask about the result of blood tests, because failure is difficult to assimilate but sharing the news is even more so.
- Say “Don’t worry, everything will be fine!” except where they are fortune tellers, since not even the medical team that monitors you knows anything in advance.
- Tell the story of their cousin’s neighbour’s wife who, as soon as she stopped brooding over it, got pregnant immediately.
- Say that it isn’t serious and that in the worst case you can always adopt.
- Make jokes when you want to vomit because you have gastroenteritis.
- Say you are lucky not to have to get up early on Sunday mornings.
- Complain about the typical discomforts of pregnancy when they are pregnant.
On the contrary, they should:
- Ask “what can I do for you?” Or “what do you need?”
- Say that they feel what you are going through and that they have faith! And they will keep their hopes up even when you want to throw in the towel.
- Say that you’re not alone, that they will fight by your side and that they will always be there for you if at any time you need to speak.
- Say that it isn’t your fault and that you are not responsible for what happens, and repeat it again and again.
- Tell you about their pregnancy privately or even through a message, which will prevent you from feeling bad in front of a group of people, in addition to being prepared to see you cry, because it is difficult to hear such news, which can be very painful.
- Finally, be able to hug you and just give you affection, without saying anything and clasping you closely … the time needed to calm down … like a child … which is what you so crave …
