I want to have my baby alone
More and more women without a partner are deciding to use assisted reproductive techniques to have a baby
It is becoming more and more common to find women who want to have children without a partner. Thanks to assisted reproductive techniques, today this is a perfectly viable and legal option in Spain.
When a woman starts assisted reproduction therapy with the aim of getting pregnant, she experiences many conflicting sensations. Without doubt, this is an extremely emotional process. In such circumstances, certain worries may arise such as “What now… Should I explain what I am doing to my family and friends?”.
“When faced with questions like these, there is no single valid response” says Cristina Rico, Eugin’s psychologist. “Whether or not to share the news with one’s family and friends is a personal decision which must be taken by considering how it will make one feel better”, she explains. For some women, sharing this process with people who are close to them such as family and friends may be a relief, since it is assumed as support which will be given during treatment. On the contrary, others prefer to wait for the results of the treatment before talking about it.
Choosing who you tell
With respect to women who decide to share the news about the treatment with their family and friends from the start, experts stress the importance of knowing which people will listen to them and be able to put themselves in their place; those who will best understand their wishes and plans for maternity and with whom they will feel comfortable talking to about their decision.
Once the treatment has finished, if the outcome is a pregnancy, doubts may arise about how to tell those people who are still unaware of the woman’s plans for motherhood.
According to the psychologist, “It must be clearly understood that conceiving a child is a process that is extremely intimate for women. It is important to consider that they are the ones who must decide what to tell and how much detail to go into.” “Besides”, adds Cristina Rico, “it’s not always necessary to give the same type of information to everyone: depending on the person you are talking to, the type of relationship, the degree of trust and closeness, a woman will talk about her decision in different ways”.
In the presence of fear, prepare a response
If you prepare the responses to the potential questions in advance, and are clear about your argument, you will be better prepared when the time comes to talk about it. “When talking to people you don’t know well, such as acquaintances or colleagues at work, it may be useful for the woman to prepare a speech that will make her feel at ease. That way, she will not get flustered and improvise, which can sometimes have an undesirable result”, concludes the psychologist Cristina Rico.