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How to interact with the fertile?

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Have confidence in the future, this will allow you to remain calm and not feel any negative emotion

Getting together on a daily basis with friends, neighbours or pregnant companions or with newborns or toddlers becomes an ordeal when the person finds getting pregnant to be a constant struggle. Parties and family gatherings are tinged with anguish and discomfort. We get choked up when we hear announcements of pregnancy in our circle. In short, we would like to live isolated, locked up in a house or exiled on an island specially set up for the infertile! But, obviously, this is not possible, and one feels increasingly lonely and misunderstood. Could it be that you are not in good enough company? If you are in good company in the midst of your suffering and struggle, it will be easier for you to accept the pregnancy of others. The assisted reproduction path is long and painful: do not hesitate to go to a support group, an association, a coach or a psychologist.

Try to subdue your patience, since patience is the very weapon that will allow you to calmly travel along this path to maternity. For this reason, try to focus on other projects. Discover a new passion, develop your creative spirit, pursue other dreams … Find yourself a way to clear your head, a way to relax. When faced with a road that can take several months, or even years, it is important not to focus all your life, your social relationships, friends and family exclusively around this baby project.

Have confidence in yourself. Your path to motherhood is simply something longer than for most people you know. Be confident in the future, this will allow you to remain calm and not experience any negative emotion, or anxiety, or envy, or anger when you are in the presence of pregnant women or new parents.

Let yourself go, relativize things and accept IVF. Do not take it as a personal failure and be in mourning for a natural baby. If this phase is not overcome, you will suffer every time you see a woman’s bump. Accept this test and these difficulties and fight to achieve your goal. The important thing is that you have solutions at your fingertips, that you feel loved and motivated with the most beautiful project that can exist and that you enjoy health to cope with a pregnancy and bring a baby into the world …

Feel happy for all those women who do not have to go through the experience that you are facing. An assisted reproduction treatment is so hard that nobody wishes it on anyone. Be happy that there are still couples who do not need medical help to start a family. Lean on the solidarity and mutual help of these women; do not hold a grudge against them. Keep in mind that it is precisely because other women conceive without further difficulty that you have another solution, were it necessary: the donation of oocytes. Women who have made, or will make, one or two oocyte donations will allow you to know the happiness of being a mum…

Frédérique Vincent
After finishing her studies, Frédérique Vincent packs her bags and goes to England. While there, she meets her future husband. They marry in 2008. The months and years go by very quickly without any sign of pregnancy. At first, it doesn’t matter: they are very busy with their leisure time, sports, travel. Then the desire to have a child becomes an obsession. When fertility treatment begins, she decides to start writing her diary of an infertile woman. Very quickly, her circle encourages her to continue giving her testimony … She is currently a mother of three and author of La Promesse du mois, a book which serves as a testimony to infertility.

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