From now on, we’ll not talk about our treatments any more
I realize that we are often faced with a lack of understanding in a rather insensitive environment
From now on, we’ll not talk about our treatments any more. To those who ask me how it’s going, I tell them that we are letting nature take its course. It’s difficult for me because I need to talk about what happens to me, to articulate the difficulties I come across. Words release me and also relieve me.
But I realize that we often face a lack of understanding from a rather insensitive environment. I get the feeling that only people who have had real trouble having their children understand our anxiety. Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing to announce that we needed help to conceive a baby, however nor have I told anyone and everyone. If the person settled for “no, still no child,” I wouldn’t react but, generally, people are gossips and a couple without children is a bit odd!
To show that stereotypes die hard, the person I’m talking to usually thinks it’s just me … And I’m convinced that for years, some women have undergone treatments because our society could not admit that the man might also be responsible. The day I knew what we were going to have to face, I stopped dodging questions even though I was embarrassed about not being able to have children.
However well I understand that it is far from obvious as to how to answer someone when they are unfamiliar with the subject, silence is always preferable to a: “It’s all in your head, you’re thinking too much about having that baby. You’ll see how it’ll come” or” Huh! IVF is nothing, it always works.” I also can’t stand people who come out with “Bah, it’s not so serious, there are worse things.” It is true that there are worse things. I haven’t lost a limb and I haven’t been disabled, but I get nervous because most of the time this kind of thinking comes from people who complain about anything.
Excerpt from the book La Promesse du mois, by Frédérique Vincent
After finishing her studies, Frédérique Vincent packs her bags and goes to England. While there, she meets her future husband. They marry in 2008. The months and years go by very quickly without any sign of pregnancy. At first, it doesn’t matter: they are very busy with their leisure time, sports, travel. Then the desire to have a child becomes an obsession. When fertility treatment begins, she decides to start writing her diary of an infertile woman. Very quickly, her circle encourages her to continue giving her testimony … She is currently a mother of three and author of La Promesse du mois, a book which serves as a testimony to infertility.