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How to overcome a negative test result

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Much sooner than you might imagine, you will recover hope and you’ll regain belief in it again: this is a dream that you don’t give up on so easily

After days, weeks, months and even years imagining, dreaming and waiting, the longed-for pregnancy test day arrives, and the result is not as expected. You’re not pregnant. The disappointment is as strong as the hope that you had placed in the treatment. You feel empty, terribly empty and lost on this long journey that has now turned into a struggle. How do you overcome this failure? How do you find the strength to accept it, pick yourself up and start anew?

First of all, you might break down, which you should neither feel ashamed or embarrassed about. It is totally normal and natural to feel down: what you are going through is hard and difficult to accept. Cry and take all the time you need to free yourself of this rage. Not everyone reacts in the same way to the pain of a failure, a loss, a sorrow or even bereavement, and each and every person must take the time they need. It is also important to express your pain and your emotions, whether it is in the close company of your partner – who undoubtedly will also need to express their feelings – or to a friend. You can also make an appointment with a professional to help you come to terms with the setback and to gain the strength needed to start again. Do not hesitate to take part in a support group in which to share and express what you feel with other couples who have the same difficulties as you. This will help you feel less isolated.

Afterwards, don’t undervalue or blame yourself. You aren’t useless or incapable, far from it. On the contrary, you are a fighter, and a brave and deserving woman. It is important that you take care of yourself, relax, rest, and have fun and get away in order to recover well, both physically and mentally. After that, the outlook will be better.

Don’t forget to think positively. Appreciate everything you have in your life and don’t obsess over what you don’t have. Lead as normal a life as possible. Go out, laugh, and relax with your partner and your friends. As for treatment, keep in mind that during this cycle, although the result was not as expected, your doctors will do a checkup that will allow you to make the necessary adjustments during the next attempt in order to help you get pregnant as soon as possible.

Much sooner than you might imagine, you will recover hope and you’ll regain belief in it again. This is a dream that you don’t give up on so easily. You’ll no longer think of the setback you have just suffered, but of the attempts you both still need to make. Don’t forget: infertility is not an adversity; it’s a lock that you’re on the point of opening with the key.

Frédérique Vincent
After finishing her studies, Frédérique Vincent packs her bags and goes to England. While there, she meets her future husband. They marry in 2008. The months and years go by very quickly without any sign of pregnancy. At first, it doesn’t matter: they are very busy with their leisure time, sports, travel. Then the desire to have a child becomes an obsession. When fertility treatment begins, she decides to start writing her diary of an infertile woman. Very quickly, her circle encourages her to continue giving her testimony … She is currently a mother of three and author of La Promesse du mois, a book which serves as a testimony to infertility.

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