“The last day of treatment was exciting, delicate and intimate: the perfect culmination of a dream”
Almost a year ago, Laura and Valeria fulfilled their dream of becoming mothers through fertility treatment. Today, little Milo’s smile fills these two socially committed women with happiness
While taking the decision to start a family, they created Diversamente mamme, one of Italy’s most popular blogs from which they have shared their personal experience and repeatedly insisted on the legal and social recognition of homosexual couples and their children.
For you, resorting to fertility treatment was something natural.
Of course. As a lesbian couple, we could not have become mothers without it, and it has always seemed like a normal option to us. Our experience was also extremely positive: the contact with the clinic was easy and the price was not an issue. We also encountered a respectful attitude that enabled us to feel taken care of as a couple and as women, as we were welcomed with great affection and professionalism.
What was your biggest concern before starting?
We used to become anxious about having to face such an important experience in a country that was not ours: it seemed like a huge stumbling block to us. We also had fears about finding high prices, invasive treatments … We did not have enough information!
How did you solve it?
We started to go step by step: first, searching for the right information, and afterwards establishing the first contact with the clinic. It was important for us to know how they work, in particular regarding the selection of donors and the quality and preservation of sperm. Once we had talked to the clinic, we realized that we could not have felt more confident about what we were going to receive. Everything began to seem simpler to us and the project began to take shape spontaneously.
When thinking about the final leg of treatment today, do you have good feelings?
The truth is that we couldn’t have a nicer memory of that day. It was touching, delicate, intimate, in short: the perfect culmination of a dream.
Let’s talk about your little Milo. Have you thought about how you will tell him how he was conceived?
Of course! We thought about it a lot before deciding to have him. Our son will know how he was born from the start, and we will obviously explain with words and tools adapted to his age. In fact, at home we already have lots of children’s books that explain our journey with magnificent illustrations and appropriate terms, such as ‘Why do you have two mums?’ ‘One Little Egg’, ‘Some people have two mums’ *. In addition, we are affiliated to Famiglie Arcobaleno, an association that allows us to talk to other parents and benefit from the valuable experience of those who have made this journey before us.
That’s how you have shared your experience with other couples. Was that the reason why you also created your blog?
We got involved with Diversamente mamme and decided to reveal our history, because we believe it is useful to provide the right information. When the project to start a family sprang into being so did the need to take on the responsibility of contributing towards improving the social and legal setting of the country we live in and in which our son will grow up.
Last but not least, think about two women who, like you, find themselves at the start. What would you say to them?
We would tell them not to think the technique is going to be invasive, painful and long: in fact, it depends on the health and age of each person. It is best to consult a doctor and act accordingly. Also, do not forget to summon up lots of patience. Women: don’t be put off by the unexpected and try to go through it all with a touch of irony. It will be an enriching experience for your partner and for yourselves!
* Original titles: ‘Perché hai due mamme?’, ‘Piccolo uovo’ y ‘Some people have two mums’.
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